Holy [censored]!!!

You that feeling you get deep in your stomach? That butterfly, achy breaky feeling? That feeling that life cannot get any better than this one moment, yet you are scared that the dream will end in just a minute, and you will wake up in the morning realizing that it was all just a great dream? That butterfly feeling is the adrenaline pumping through your system, the organs in your abdomen literally seizing up so as to speed blood flow to your muscles in what is called a “fight or flight” reaction. It causes senses of euphoria and horrible cramps the next day.

Yeah, finding out I was going to Poland was like that (even the cramps). I heard the words spoken, I saw the reactions of the people around me, and then as my mind caught up with the rest of the world, I had the overpowering desire to remove the chili cheese fries that I had eaten for lunch fom their current location. (If anyone is wondering, avoid eating anything where the primary ingredient is grease just before an interview.)

So as I realized that the alarm was not about to go off, the first thing that flashed through my mind was, (honestly) “I get to go to Europe with a good looking bunch of people.” Of course then I realized just how inappropriate my thoughts were, and proceeded to enjoy the feeling that I was able to go and study something that means more to me than most people could ever know.

I study World War Two. I study the actions, the results, the ideas that went into it and the philosophies that resulted. That war represents the best and the worst in what mankind has become. Being able to go means visiting places where man’s essence has forever left a mark, yet not in any sort of physical sense.

I still wake up some mornings and fear that it was a dream, and that the alarm is just now going off.

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Published in: on November 14, 2007 at 4:38 pm  Leave a Comment  

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