Is Awkwardness Going to be a Factor for this Interview?

I’m not the best at interviews. Actually, I’m thinking my social skills are somewhat lacking. Sure, I can be honest, witty, funny and charming when I write but that is where I can be free. Free to think, free to process, free to—yeah… So anyway, I’m always afraid that when I’m in an interview that I’m going to say something stupid or do something dumb (I’m a pretty clumsy person. Just walking for me is an incredible feat—ha, feat, feet, walking). I have no control over the sweatiness of my palms or the shakiness in my voice. I’m not that quick on my feet (feat! Ha!), when asked a question I just blurt out the first thing on my mind, which I guess is what the interviewers want, but I don’t really have any faith in my answers to their questions.

So when I heard that I was to endear yet another interview, a final, scary interview, I was a little discomforted. I thought I was a mess in the group interview, though I was a little at ease considering I knew both Marisela, from high school and David from a class.

I have to admit I spent maybe an hour before the interview prepping myself. Breathing iiiiiiinnnnnnnn and ooooouuuuuttt nice and slowly, talking to myself in the mirror, and pacing, lots and lots of pacing. This is something that I really wanted and I didn’t want my awkwardness being a factor for me missing out on such an amazing experience.

Night was a book that really touched me. I read it first in middle school and then a couple times while writing my essay. For me it was something that inspired me. I’ve studied the Holocaust, I’ve read books like What is the What by Dave Eggers, and seen movies like Hotel Rwanda and my response is always the same: “I have to do something about this!” I mean, I’m still unsure on what I want to “be” when I “grow up”, I’m currently a Social Work major, but I’m still a little iffy on what I want to “do”.

I’m drifting some—but the future is a scary issue for me.

My point is that the world is a dark place, and I want to be a light to expose it. But to expose it I need to better understand the darkness. I think this is why I wanted this trip so much (that and freaking free trip to Poland!).  I can’t really fully understand the evil of man reading books or watching it on MSNBC, but maybe I could a little better if I saw this devastating piece of history with my own eyes. Walk the actual footsteps of Eli Weisel instead of just reading about it.

Anyways, I’m awaiting my interview with the other contestants, palms sweaty and everything, when it is announced that we may enter the room where the interviews will be held. I decide to pair up for this “speed date” type interview with Marisela and we sat down with two professors I had not met before. I was making small talk, trying to appear as un-awkward as possible to the two professors when it is announced that we are all going to Poland.


Honestly, I thought Russell was playing some kind of a joke (he seems to me like a jokester), but after they started serving punch and cookies I concluded that this was either a very elaborate,  very mean joke or we are actually, in fact, all going to Poland.

I just want to say that I am incredibly psyched to be a part of this amazing experience and I know that we are going to have a great time together!

-Brant “Better Late Than Never” Nelson

Published in: on January 22, 2008 at 4:56 pm  Leave a Comment